Review – Hitman (Unrated Edition)
A Brief Review
- Gus 'Magnus' McManus
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This film is about a ‘hitboy’ (named/numbered 47), who’s not a heartless killer but a shy virgin boy who doesn’t know how to interact with women. I’m not exaggerating, he’s even reading a men guide’s to women and was shown repeatedly to not know what to do. Sure, they want to show that he is a stone cold killer who never interacted in human ways, this would be ok if they actually DEVELOP HIS CHARACTER! But his entire back story is given through the opening credits which last about 2 minutes in brief sequences of bald kids getting barcode tattoos on their heads.
The whole movie is full of bad, corny dialogue like “he is the best at what he does” made worse by the actors trying to make it sound serious. Logic … actually there is not much logic in this film. An assassin should blend in with the crowd and by that he should not have a big tattoo on his bald head and use real disguise. By real disguise I mean beard, sunglasses, fake scars (hell even a baseball cap will do) but most of the time all he does is change his clothes and show his bald head and baby face everywhere. Speaking of baby face, this film executive producer is Vin Diesel who would probably be a better 47 than Olyphaunt (but not by much since they are both known for their thespian acting skills). Actions sequences are not bad but not great either, the worst bit is the set up for the scenes.
Held at gun points by other assassins, 47 said “how about dying with a little dignity” then everyone agreed and dropped their guns and start melee with knives instead. He may as well say “how about giving the audience an action scene since it's been about 15 min from the last one”.
In this unrated version, there is probably more gore and full frontal nudity not seen in then cinema so that’s one of the few good things about this movie. Acting is painful but I suspect it’s more because of the bad script rather than the actors. The hooker played by Olga, who’s now the new bond girl, surprisingly can act better than most of the cast. Again, her character is dragged down by bad writing, she plays a hooker with a heart of gold…if I want to know about that I’d read the Bible instead.
The biggest failure with this film is that it does not develop these characters. With the opening credits, I was expecting the film to explore why 47 does what he does. If you want to set him up as an assassin who kills people for the good of the world then you have to explore his character and show conflicts etc. not this half baked you called characterization. And don’t tell me you weren’t going to explore him; you practically start the film with ‘how does a good man decide when to kill’ (which you also failed to answer!). In summary, this film failed because of shitty writing.
is that a gun?
Rating: 4.0/10
Cumjackulation Rating: 7.0/10
(ratings explained)