Game On - Melbourne, Australia
Screen Gallery, ACMI
- Ethan Cole
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Photography was not permitted at this ACMI exhibit, but quite frankly, even if they were there are only a few exhibits worth featuring, such as Max Payne’s reference clothing (disappointingly unstained and undamaged – evidently he was wearing a Game On t-shirt) and the design notes for Max Payne and GTA3, possibly some of the joysticks and innards of a ‘Stella’ Atari 2600 prototype. Chances are the latter would be something some might want to see in the flesh. Also, most of these images can be found online. Google it mother fucker. They can’t quite be faulted for false advertising since you can “play your way through the history of video games”. However, their ‘history timeline’ board is pretty bland and trivial at best, even for a highlight; though this should come as no surprise. This is a place for Joe and Jane Public and their little demon spawn kids – because nothing quite says gaming like family… though if you’re into sitters and milf’s… “Play” is also a loose term; though in their defense it may have been an exercise to demonstrate how shit the controllers are. |
“…to explore the history and culture of videogames” no… there was no exploring, well maybe it is by today’s standards where it’s akin to TV channel surfing; actually that is exploring if you’re overseas… midnight erotica counts as research. “It showcases some of the finest arcade, console and handheld games produced over the past decade” unless it was something that had to be banned, regardless of the quality. If this represents their idea of ‘finest’ there is yet more evidence of why the world is in the state that it is.
As far as the arcade section was concerned; the enjoyment probably stems from the nostalgic filling-in-the-blanks… minus the drugs, music and the child molester hanging in the corner… no… the latter is still there. The arcade itself was hardly loud enough in the decibel department to be considered one, but there’s probably some bullshit ‘health and safety’ feature or regulation that prohibits such levels. To remedy this you could just queue up some retro-playlist on an MP3 player and jerk about with your coin pouch – the games are ‘free’ to play, so attendees who paid $15 should spend their whole day there, playing until they go fucking blind; leaving with a squint hard enough to offend East-Asians. But really; ideally: forget this, get an emulator and ROMS, unless you want the circle jerk of nostalgia; grease them joysticks. It’s surprising that coin belts weren’t included as ‘retro gear’ available in the typical entrapment gift-shop/store. There’s a free idea you pricks.
The demographic present (whilst less than expected) was populated with the usual assortment of old and young; a continent away and it’s still the same type of people except a significantly less of them feature eyes like apostrophes. Enter the ‘Casual Gamers’ the marketing term of a new to tap demographic; infecting releases with watered-down mechanics and gimmicks. The Wii types, the gimmicky drones possessing such knowledge as to call a PS2 unit an “Xbox” – which is only odd in this instance given the exhibits are labeled. Then again it’s not wholly surprising as the world’s population is getting dumber (generally speaking; since I’ve not been to Africa – where the population is getting deader).
Numerous consoles were on display, from the Atari 2600 to the Wii; some next-gen systems on SD displays, although there were two on proper HD displays, featuring Motorstorm no less. Two items that did belong in a museum: the Dreamcast and the Gamecube; appropriately within a plastic case, with quick and easy access for the former, given it hung a few times.
Some of the games present weren’t half bad, but the same cant be said for the controllers; which doesn’t allow for a game to be played – a number of the input devices were faulty and broken, such as the roll-ball mouse for Secret of Monkey Island. Other adventure games; featuring text based Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (needless to say someone typed in ‘Fuck You’ – wasn’t me… Jim…). But it’s a wonder where Myst was; particularly given the almost ‘Game is Art’ theme. Wolfenstein 3D and Doom weren’t present either which is weird, unless they were too ‘mature’ for the audience – who doesn’t like Doom, the kids are too short to see over the counter; also distracted by newer corridor shooters… like Halo.
A sign states: “Games have always reflected the values of a wider society. This thematic section looks at the diverse world of games in Europe and the USA” and what a bunch of uptight cunts people can be. And to showcase Japanese game culture, there was DDR – with people playing, some shitty low resolution poor screen crap video quality dating game (no controller) and a train simulator “Go By Train 3” (Densya De Go! 3) dumped in the corner.
The Multiplayer section was fairly authentic; with a hub consisting of 4 system linked Xbox 360’s – mostly played by kids who need to be disciplined by their parents, what was missing however was some dickheads yelling and swearing… well, there was swearing but that was unrelated to the ‘exhibit’. Fucking rip-off.
Bomberman was present; surprised he wasn’t arrested for being a possible threat to society. Here’s a tip for terrorists: dress yourself up all fluffy and cuddly – no one would fuck with you (hell that’s the only reason why anyone gives a toss about seals and pandas) – unless of course you bend over, might get ‘rogered up the asshole’ by some friendly furry fiend.
The Rockstar section featured a wall for Max Payne and GTA and two display cases. Max Payne’s reference costume was featured encased in glass; but there were no donut or blood stains. The wall; design board layout with sketches, models/skins – the constipated grimace was evident, but there was nothing about Valkyr (which is no surprise). This was the start of something interesting. Meanwhile GTA; pasted with a Post-It style island by island planning for the city entailing of missions; additionally planning, sketches and concept renders. The adjacent wall featured some half-assed looking snippet of code that’s blurred as if some technopheliac was getting off on the printer. As for the display case… the deck of cards and the baseball bat were nice – tempting to smash it to get some memorabilia but the bat was behind the glass; the real problem would be to indulge in the temptation to use that bat… rather than preserving it like a piece of memorabilia… then again blood stains would look good on it. Hindsight: 20-20.
-make happy CUM = 1
Also present was Rockstar’s Table Tennis; a game they don’t have to ban. Incidentally, the wonderful people at Australian customs have an issue with a certain game… this… Grand Theft Auto. Immigration; a fairly comprehensive diving into travelers belongings; swabbing; x-raying; complete with friendly interrogation – there’s nothing like being asked if you’ve been toking by an obvious pot head. Further, upon seeing some UMD’s, I was informed that some games were banned. An inquiry to which ones yielded one answer: GTA. I didn’t get as far as a follow up as to which title specifically as the rest of my belongings were being rifled through – also didn’t want to come up as a pink-sock puppet contender. Evidently salami can’t be brought into the country, not even in a sandwich… but as fecal matter: no problem. As far as games being banned they should really be concerned with adults who play Petz or Nintendogs; potential pedos, less they’re girls.
And here’s me trying not to avoid that whole ‘penal colony’ mode of thought that the exit to arrivals; a corridor lined with cameras, doors like a ‘prison of the future’ – automatically opening metal slabs on a marble/concrete set wall.
Back to Game On: the other production material entailed of production sketches for Pokemon, Donkey Kong and Dragons Lair – these images too; can be found online. Similarly, the sound section opposite was mostly material you may have heard before; but did provide some light interest.
So he created a game about a horny commie with a drug problem.
The portable game area was expectedly populated with kids. Kids who’re bought PSP’s… what has the world come to? Kids don’t need a fucking mobile phone, laptop, PSP or even have free-reign web access. Regardless they were mostly the ones playing these devices – possibly because it was only kid’s games. There was also a Nintendo Power Glove in the joystick display booth nearby.
Further back; stuck in the far corner (maybe for some privacy) was the Tomb Raider display; which was disappointing, but entirely inline with the exhibition as a whole (no I wasn’t expecting any racy material… there’s the internet for that). Regardless there could have been more ‘production’ or images from each subject, despite being nicely framed. But ultimately it’s limited, given Lara’s UK ties one would’ve expected more.
The ‘Theater’ a darkened box-of-a-room with a rear-projection screen playing low resolution video (with inconsistent audio); featuring a mix of uber-boring and just passable content – slideshows of screenshots and machinima.
Those Second Life freaks produced some material; typically dull and disturbing (in so far as someone indulging Second Life content…). Some of the content were a few Everquest screens of a battle against the Sleeper, a few seconds of Warcraft III tournament, and some retarded Star Wars Galaxies ‘pub crawl’ – this wasn’t a fucking pub crawl; just walking a few steps in a cantina. Then there was some German one; “Photograph” which supposedly had something to deal with Unreal Tournament – wasn’t too bad but comes off as that pretentious-artsy junk; the kind of stuff you would find in a museum.
The resolution was too low to read some of the names, ought find some of these pricks and frag the shit out of them. It’s almost embarrassing to be called a gamer given the content exhibited… Generally, his was painful… most painful. Perhaps there was supposed to be a door, so the room can be used for hotboxing; the way to watch most of the material. I’d rather suffer through the discomfort of injecting saline into my penis – whilst felching champagne from a curly straw. Thanks for showing how pretentious and boring games can end up being. Most ‘art’ is pretentious anyway, but this… this is something else, yet another cult in the age of delusion; best they stick to video sharing sites.
The only good one was the Ballad of Black Mesa, but it was an older version, which was hampered by resolution and weaker audio. Should’ve included the Rooster Teeth ones, and possibly build some background for their Machinima panel.
Normally I’d take issue with some undisciplined kids (that means you damn hippie parents need to beat them) running about and banging on the display; but this was a moment where I’d have applauded the parents – were it intentional. It was damn near perfect; most of this stuff was so bad I wanted to smash the screen – if this was the thought running through their parents mind informing the kids’ actions; the perfect way to trash the place and get off easy.
Part of the issue is perception; the delusion of ‘creators’ and the community; and the preconceived ideas of the general public. The content here does nothing to alter or improve in either demographic, as yet again, nothing ever changes. Guess we’ll have to wait until some big names in the gaming industry start playing politics. Not that there’s a need for it, since those Hollywood cunts have recognized the lucrative potential and will sure enough step in.
Additionally, there’s a Program of Events set to overlap with the Game On exhibition; and actually sound more promising, relatively… it’s hard to remain optimistic when you’re presented with the option of a ‘Feast of Furry’ a ‘24 Hour Movie Marathon’ for gamers, screening fantastic films such as Resident Evil: Extinction and Postal, of course there’s also the overrated ‘must include’ Akira. Then the others: Starship Troopers, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, eXistenZ, Paradise Villa, Conan the Barbarian, Golden Eye, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within and Silent Hill. Evidently there’s also a selection of Kid’s Films screening during school holidays, one of which is Pokemon, so hopefully they have epileptic weaknesses to assist in the growing concerns of overpopulation.
More interesting, or rather ‘actually’ [potentially] interesting are the ‘Talks’, such as ‘Hellboy from Film to Game’, ‘Connecting Generations through Games’; and [actually] promising the Machinima Film Festival, which features ‘Making Machinima World of Warcraft’ (featuring Rod Maher, the creator of FRAPS), ‘Forge: The Making of Griff Ball’ (featuring Burnie Burns of Rooster Teeth), ‘Making Machinima Panel’ and ‘Red vs Blue: Reconstruction’. This latter event costs 15 AUD (13 AUD Concession).
At 15 AUD, this was quite the rip-off; for 15 AUD you could probably legally acquire all the ROMS in some compilation package for whatever platform you might own. But it’s best to save your money; download ambient arcade audio to play in the background whilst you play them on an emulator.
Included with the package: a PC DVD containing the original SimCity and bonus content: SimCity Societies and Spore Previews (which is a fancy way of saying low res. flash video trailers). In a few instances; the urge to snap the disc inhalf (no need to fashion a makeshift shiv) and start stabbing people with it did arise; serrated edge; slash the jugular.
But so far as the actual ‘exhibit’ is concerned; save your money whether you’re in England or Australia, if you’re interested in gaming history, stick to the internet for now. Here’s a few links just with a quick web search:
Some Atari History:
http://www.atariprotos.com/
http://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/2000/the_history_of_atari_19711977.php
http://www.atarimuseum.com/videogames/consoles/2600menu/2600menu.htm
http://www.8bitrocket.com/newsdisplay.aspx?newspage=3755
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atari_2600
Play Arcade Classics (without the eye strain, slimey-stick and bullshit $15 entry):
http://www.play.vg/
http://www.onlinearcadegames.nl/index.php/Arcade-Portal/Classic-Arcade-Games-online.html
Some Tomb Raider History:
http://retro.ign.com/articles/856/856183p1.html
http://www.tombraideranniversary.com/throughtime_01.asp
After all this; I recant my request for a return to GTA: London; rather have some GTA set in Australia – see what’s the deal with this Australian-American War – scratch that; make it a mini-game section; the uptight pricks can ban it then have the section removed. Cause really, as Magnus best put it: “this is why nobody cares about you Australia”.
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